The Betrayal
by Teddy R. Lupin
Summary: To Remus Lupin and James Potter, by the loosest definition, it was a betrayal.  The worst kind possible.  To Sirius Black, it was doing the world a favour. No specified pairings. Some strong language.


Hello again! Yes, I know, I still need to be updating my other stories, don't I? And yes, they're being worked on...but...I wrote this last Thursday night, at...about three in the morning, or something. I'd just had an argument with my friend (a completely pointless argument), and I wanted to write something to vent my anger.

So here's this. I've always liked to think of the Marauders as a flawless group of friends, but the truth is, they had their ups and downs just like the rest of us, and this was certainly their weakest time. I know fics like this are overdone, but...hey, this one doesn't involve Dumbledore or explusion, really...it's just James and Sirius yelling at each other and then some Sirius-Remus friendship fluff at the end. Though it's more one-sided on Sirius's end.

Anyway, this is for my friend Will.

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"Fine, then! Of course you'd be the – "

The harsh, angry voice rang through Gryffindor Tower, down the stairs, from the sixth-year boys' dormitory, disturbing the silence of the morning. That wasn't uncommon – it was a normal thing for the infamous Marauders to wake up the other students with whatever their next prank happened to be. What was so odd, however, was that the words were being yelled in anger, not in glee.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" another male voice called out. "You could've been expelled – "

A door slammed, and Sirius Orion Black came storming down the stairs. His white button-down shirt was torn nearly in half, as if he'd gotten in a fight with a particularly vicious animal. His hair, his normally flawless appearance, was a disheveled mess, and he looked as if he hadn't gotten sleep in days.

"Where the hell do _you _think you're going?" the indignant, still angry voice of James Potter yelled down the stairs. Rapid footsteps followed, and soon, the messy black hair and short stature appeared at the foot of the stairs. His angry expression somewhat faded, though maybe that was because he, too, had gone without sleep. "He doesn't want to see you."

"What d'you mean, 'he doesn't want to see me'?" asked Sirius, the expression on his face clearly stating that he didn't believe his best friend. "He _always_ does!"

"Not this time," said James. The bespectacled boy studied his friend for a few tense, silent moments before letting out something that could be resembled to a small, sad sigh.

Sirius huffed angrily. "Will you quit looking at me like I've got snot coming out my nose?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"You really can't see how what you did was wrong, can you?" Disbelief was evident in James's tone, and he gave the other boy a look, a disappointed look laced with anger, that was foreign between the two friends. "You know what we promised Moony. We took this upon ourselves to _protect _him. That was your fucking _idea_, Sirius! And then you go and fucking pull that fucking stunt! What were you thinking, you bloody idiot?"

James breathed heavily, though didn't dare to take his glass-covered hazel orbs off Sirius's deep grey irises. Maybe, if he was lucky, he'd be able to scare his friend into admitting what he'd done, and admitting he was wrong along with it.

No such luck.

"Snivellus _knew_!" said Sirius hotly, his voice rising again. "What was I _supposed _to do?"

"He knew," stated James, though anger was boiling underneath, his eyes a fiery ball of fury. "So you decided to kill him?" His voice gained more strength, more volume, before continuing. "How thick _are _you? Do you honestly think Dumbledore would ever let _anything_ happen to Moony? And_ I_ was the one who had to save your sorry arse!"

For a brief moment, Sirius's eyes seemed to widen and he collapsed on the sofa, his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking. He seemed so weak, so unlike the confident Sirius that James had grown to know…that the entire Hogwarts School thought they knew. The Marauders had known, of course, that Sirius Black was vulnerable, but…James had never really thought…_this_ vulnerable. "I'm so sorry, Prongs…I'm so fucking sorry…I…I just…_Moony_…"

James seemed to be uncomfortable with the more vulnerable side of Sirius. He'd witnessed it before, of course, but it was a side he'd seen only once before, and after that, he'd sworn on the Marauders' Oath that he would never "reveal the best of Sirius Black." He could never be allowed to show weakness, that was the rule. James reached over to grip his friend's shoulder.

"I _know_, Padfoot," he said quietly, "I know. But it's not my life you put in jeopardy. And I'm not talking about Snivellus, mate, not this time. You know what happens to a werewolf if he's caught killing a man." He stepped back, staring at his best friend, jerking his head towards the portrait hole as Sirius finally seemed to realise the severity of the consequences of his actions. "Go on."

"You said…"

"I fucking know what I said, you twat," said James. "But how will he ever learn to forgive you, to _understand what you've done_, if you don't explain it to him?"

"You think he's really…that mad?" asked Sirius, wincing as he spoke. He could deal with the entire school hating him, even with James hating him, but Remus…if Remus never forgave him, he wouldn't be able to survive. And he'd never meant to hurt Moony…his pal…his best mate…his only confidant…the one who understood…

"No," said James, chewing on the inside of his lip as he watched the dog Animagus. He folded his arms across his dressing-gown-covered torso, frowning deeply. "No, Sirius…Remus is going to be _furious_. You broke your promise, revealing his secret, to Severus-_bloody_-Snape! Don't you get it?" James scowled at his best friend. "How could you of all people do this to him?"

And at least, Sirius had the decency to look ashamed. It was true and he knew it, no matter how much he hadn't wanted to admit it. It had been a moment of weakness for him, and he'd simply let his emotions and his anger take over. He never _had_ been able to control himself…in a way, in a cruel, sick way…that's how he and Remus were so similar. Only Remus was the better man, because when he was in control, he was in _complete _control, and he wouldn't dare put a toe out of line. And partially…that's why Sirius would have fully enjoyed watching Severus Snape be torn limb-from-limb. So much so, in fact, that he hadn't even thought for a moment that he could be ruining his best mate's life.

"I know how much _you_ want to see him pay, mate," said Sirius, as a last attempt to get James to understand his point of view, "For what he did to Evans?"

James had clenched his fists so hard that his nails were digging into his palms, and his face was positively mutinous. "Don't you dare turn this around on me!" he growled, sounding far to feral for the person Sirius knew him to be. "You're the one that fucked up, Sirius, and you're the one that's going to pay for it." He was silent for another prolonged moment before he looked over at his friend, who was now standing. His voice was quiet when next he spoke. "We can't take the fall this time, Padfoot."

The nickname was enough of an indicator that James had forgiven his friend. But Remus was another matter, and both of them knew that. An unspoken agreement followed, and Sirius simply nodded to the other black-haired boy, still saying nothing.

After all, if he'd just kept his mouth shut – for once in his life – they probably wouldn't be in this mess. He turned from his friend and left through the Portrait Hole, ignoring the Fat Lady's miffed protests of "Where do you think you're going so early?" and "You troublemaking lot!"

He didn't know. He didn't know where he was headed. Anywhere, everywhere…Sirius didn't care. He wanted out. He just wanted it all to be over. The war wasn't worth losing friends over; it wasn't worth any of what he knew he would have to sacrifice. But for now, he realised, at least for the next few minutes, or hours…he could stay a true friend. And he would remain that way, as long as Remus let him. Sirius would never betray his friends, not now, not when he knew how much it would cost.

He'd hopped a few staircases along with his thoughts…jumping and risking his life had to have done something, right? Biting his lip, he leapt across another one, one that would lead him to the same shortcut he'd always taken to the Hospital Wing on those early mornings where the Marauders would always sneak out to see Remus after his transformations. For a fleeting moment, he remembered the hope he'd felt in those hours. Those simple times when he thought that helping his best friend, helping his mate, would be enough…

Oh, how he wished those moments still happened. How he wished he could take back everything he'd done…

And sooner than he would have liked, he found himself rounding the corner and heading down the stairs. Sirius took a deep, shattering breath as he stepped into the lit Hospital Wing, sunlight from the early morning flooding in through the stained-glass windows. And for a moment, the light rested on Remus's peaceful face, his sleeping face, as always in the bed to the far right. His heart thudded in his chest as he approached the bed. Because, and he knew it, that when Remus woke up, everything would change.

Each footstep seemed to take an eternity. His feet were too heavy, far too heavy…too hard to bother to lift, and to drop. But he would do it; he could do it. As long as Remus remained his friend…his best mate.

They'd been through far too much together for him to ever give up hope. But…maybe…he could try to enjoy this last moment of peace.

"Moony." Sirius stopped at the end of Remus's bed and shuffled his feet nervously as his voice softly spoke the fond nickname. Remus's face was pale and wan, and there was a cast covering half of his slim arm, but…he looked…truly peaceful. Sirius often thought that his friend didn't ever seem to get a break, but…it looked like there were no nightmares this time. Hell, the sleeping boy was even…smiling. "Moony…we've got to talk…" But even his words were half-hearted.

Of course he didn't want Remus to wake up – the sooner that happened, the sooner he would be saying goodbye to his happiness. James had known that, Sirius had known that, Snape had known it….hell, even _Peter_ had known it. It just happened that…well, Sirius was the one who had chosen not to acknowledge it. Which wasn't a big surprise at all.

But one thing was clear to Sirius, now of all times. The longer it took for his Moony to wake up, the longer he would remain Padfoot.

_Fin._

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Just leave me a review to let me know how I did. I'm not too sure about the ending, since I'd originally written it to have a whole scene with Remus and Sirius right where it cuts off. I might still write it, just for kicks, so let me know if you're interested in reading more. )

TRL


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